To My dearest Noah,

The other night, Noah started lacrosse for the first time.  It was a new sport, new team, new group of people.  Noah didn't know anyone on the team and I didn't know any of the parents.  Noah jumped right in making friends and I sat on the side with the parents.  I talked with some of the moms, mostly just chit chat.  Some of the moms knew each other because their kids go to school together.  Since we were all sitting on the bleachers together, i overheard the conversation.  They were talking about homework and the massive amount their kids are getting each night.  That led to something else, which led to something else which led to getting into college.  One mom said she was making her son play lacrosse even though he cried and threw a fit because he didn't want to play.  She said she was making him play so he would get a college scholarship at her alma mater (somewhere up North).  Gathering from what I heard, she met her husband at that school, her sister met her husband at that school, her parents met at that school and her grandparents met at that school. Both she and her sister did not want to go to that school and study what they studied (chemical something) but her parents made them go. They told her she had to go and find a "worthy" husband. She just said it matter of factually, without much emotion. She actually said "worthy husband". That was just how it was, there was no choice.  I asked her a few questions and when she asked what I did, I told her i was a full time wife and mom, working part time in catering but that I used to take care of a retired Archbishop until he passed away in November.  She replied "Gross, old people give me the willy's".  After i picked my jaw up off the floor, i tried to explain that it was the most wonderful thing in the world for me. I tried to tell her that i learned so much about myself and i had to give so much of myself during that time. I told her how I had to get way out of my comfort zone on many occasions to help him.  Then she said to me "That is why I want my son to go to (fill in her school's name here) so he never has to work a job like that."   And at that moment, my heart ached for her son.  So what I have to say is for my dearest Noah.

Noah,
You are a joy in my life!  I may not be a perfect mom, but I promise to always love you with all my heart!  I promise you don't ever have to play a sport or join a club that you don't want to play, but I will make you finish the season if you chose to try one.  I promise to help build your self esteem.  I will not force you to choose a career because it is what i think is best, but i will let you choose what your heart wants.  And I will be supportive.  I promise to tell you i love you every chance I get, and even then, it won't come close to how much i actually do love you.  I will give you hugs and kisses forever and ever.  I love everything about you!  I love your willingness to try new things and meet new people.  I hope you realize what a great gift that is to have.  Not everyone has that gift.  I hope that you get the most out of life but while doing so, you give your heart to God. I hope that one day you get to take care of someone who can't take care of them-self. I hope you get to travel to a third world country and see true poverty.  I hope you fall in love.  I wish for you, a best friend.  A friend that you can trust with your life.  If it is God's will in your life, I hope you get to experience the joy of having kids.   I hope you always protect and defend the dignity of life...at all stages!  Most of all, i hope you live your life to the fullest!  You are mine here on earth but you are a child of God!  To truly be happy in life, you have to follow HIS plan, not mine.   But I promise to help you find HIS plan.  I promise to take care of you the best way i know how because you are a joy in my life!
love,
Mom

A Little of this and that..

Holy cow!  It's the end of August already!  I honestly can't believe how fast time is flying by.  Somehow, summer ended and I now have a 2nd grader!!  Noah is loving school and I am so happy about that. His wonderful teacher from last year moved up and took his whole 1st grade class with her.  I am class mom...AGAIN...with 3 other moms.  One of the mom's and I have actually become good friends and we like to take our boys to the skate park a lot in the afternoons. 

Noah starts lacrosse and soccer this week.  This should be an interesting semester doing both sports.  He opted out of boy scouts this year and I am glad he decided on his own because it conflicts with lacrosse and I would have hated for him to have to chose between 2 that he really wanted to do.  I think just getting to each practice a week and 2 games on Saturdays is going to keep us very busy!  Not to mention no one stepped up for team mom for lacrosse so I agreed to it (yikes). 

ABD's birthday was this month and I went and put some balloons and flowers on his grave.  I miss him a lot.  It has been a really hard year for me grieving his loss. 

I never thought i would say this but i have really been enjoying taking Chewy to the dog park every morning.  It is usually the same people every day and I enjoy talking with them while the dogs wear each other out! 

I am really looking forward to the last 13 episodes of FRINGE.  I have been with this show since day one and I really want to know how it is going to end.  I am equally excited about the show Revolution starting this fall.  I have to say, JJ Abrams does a great job producing shows that make you think about things.  I used to really get into trashy shows like Party of Five, Dawson's Creek, 90210, etc. and when i look back now and watch a rerun of one of them, I honestly can't believe I watched such trash!  And i was so addicted to them!  Thank goodness there are actually good shows out there!  I also love the show White Collar!  The relationship between Peter and his wife, Elizabeth, give me hope that Hollywood DOES believe marriages can last! 

Although i am not at all ready for the expense of Christmas, I am ready for everything fall has to offer:  the cooler weather, the changing leaves, the pumpkin carving, the cooler weather, chili in the crock pot, corn mazes, the cooler weather, apple cider, hay rides, cooler weather, a long break from school, pumpkin scented candles, fires in the fireplace, fires in the outside fire pit, and did i mention cooler weather? 

what's going on in your world?

embarrassed

"Mom, you are embarrassing me".  Although i have never heard those words come out of Noah's mouth...yet, i have heard him say these words with a certain face he gives me.  Well, it goes both way my son!  Here's a story that i will remind him of when he tells me i am embarrassing him as he gets older...


First, i need to give you a little background.  A few weeks ago my brother found a huge snake in his bathtub that crawled up through the drain.  It was quite the ordeal for him (he has a huge fear of snakes) to get it out of the house.  Later that night he was talking to Noah about the snake and he asked Noah if he knew what the most poisonous snake was.  Noah answered "the Black Mama".  Although my brother and I tried to convince Noah it is called the Black MAMBA, Noah was certain he was right and we were wrong.  so whatever, we just let it go. 

So, a few days ago Noah and I were in Target.  As always, Noah likes to go in the toy section.  As we turned down one of the aisles, this sweet African American lady with her baby stopped at the end of our aisle.  Noah is going up the aisle and sees a bunch of rubber snakes. Noah starts yelling in excitement and about 50 decimals higher than his usual outside voice "A BLACK MAMA, A BLACK MAMA, MOM, I SEE A BLACK MAMA!!"

I quickly (and very loudly) starting saying "Mamba, a Black MAMBA, Mamba"  I think i said Mamba about 20 times over and over..which of course caused Noah to yell (he was soooo excited) "No, Mom, a Black Mama".    The poor lady at the end of the aisle just gave a funny look and moved on.  I can only imagine what she (and anyone else within 50 feet) was thinking.  I was mortified!  Noah SWEARS he saw it on the Animal Planet that is is called the Black Mama.  Oh Noah!  In the future when you are with your friends and you tell me i am embarrassing you, i will remind you of this moment!  Thank you for keeping my life so entertained! 

A Small Miracle

"Miracles happen to those who believe in them" by Bernard Berenson.  That was my high school senior quote and I have thought about that quote many times since i picked it out.  I thought long and hard about what i wanted to put in the yearbook.  I wanted something that when i looked back 5, 10, 15, 20, 50 years, it would still have meaning in my life.  Billy Joel's "This is the Time to Remember" was a popular quote and although i knew i would miss my time in high school, i also had enough wisdom to know that it was only 4 years of my life.  Plus, in my time in high school, i had gone through a lot more than the average teenager and knew it was my faith that got me through it.  So I wanted to honor that.  I am still happy with my choice and although i like that Billy Joel song, I couldn't remember half of the people's names at my 10 year high school reunion.  


I believe in Miracles.  I always have.  I believe that sometimes they are big and sometimes they are so small that you don't even realize what it was until after it happened. I believe some Miracles have a perfectly good explanation as to how they happened, while others are nothing short of a mystery. Either way, i fully believe they are God's little way of letting us know He is not far away.  


Tonight after dinner, Allen left for a meeting at Church, Noah was coming up with every reason why he shouldn't go to bed, and Chewy was running around like a crazy puppy!  I went upstairs with Noah and we were saying our prayers on his bed like we do every night.  And just like every night, we pray for Archbishop Donoghue.  After we finished praying, Noah asked me if i still missed Archbishop.  I got tears in my eyes as i told Noah i did.   Noah, then gave me a HUGE bear hug and we said good night.  I went back downstairs and after a few minutes I noticed I had a missed call on my phone.  I checked to see who called, hoping it was Allen saying he was on his way home but instead I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't breathe.  The missed call was from Archbishop!!!  Well, his old number anyway.  No, I haven't deleted his number from my phone because I love the picture of him I have attached to that number.  But there it was, a missed call from his number with his picture right there on my phone with his big goofy smile from one of our lunch dates.  Shocked and confused, i called the number back thinking maybe the diocese gave his phone to an employee or something.  I got the operator and she said "this number is unreachable"..not disconnected but UNREACHABLE!  UM,  WHAT????     That, my friends, is a miracle!  I have no idea how it happened, nor do i care.  All i know is that I am thankful it DID happen.  It doesn't make any sense, and I am okay with that.  But tonight, a small miracle happened to someone who believes in them! 

Summer 2012

just like that, 2012 is HALF OVER!!!  How did that happen?  so far the world hasn't ended but i guess we still have 6 more months to see... :)  The Austin household has been very busy this summer!!  For some reason my pictures aren't uploading to the computer so they will have to wait.  Here are some of the things going on around here...

early June:
** Noah turned 7!  We had a small party for him at Lifetime Fitness and Noah chose rock wall climbing and swimming as his 2 activities!  He had a blast and it didn't even bother him that Ella kicked some butt on the rock wall.  It did, however, bother Allen since Ella (who is 7) went past the mark that Allen did...haha. 

**My god daughter, Catherine, was baptized!  It is such an honor to be her god mother, she is just the most precious thing ever (she obviously gets it from her mom). 


**Allen went to Peru for 2 weeks on a mission trip.

**I helped out with Vacation Bible School the first week Allen was gone.  I helped in Noah's class and we have had the songs stuck in our head ever since.

**The 2nd week Allen was gone, Noah, Chewy, and I drove 10 hours to Missouri to hang out there for a week.  We had a blast, visiting with family and friends.  As always, it went by way too fast before we got to see everyone we wanted on our list!  Guess we will just have to go back up soon!

Mid June:
**Noah went to Lacrosse camp.  He is a natural athlete!

late June:
**we went to the beach (Hilton head) with my mom, aunt, uncle, and cousin!    Basically the trip consisted of eating ice cream for or with every meal.  It was great! 

July:
**we went tubing in Helen for the day and had lunch at the Troll Tavern

**we celebrated the 4th with friends and fireworks! 

** We surprised Noah and took him to Medieval Times!!  It was sooo much fun!! 

**Noah just finished All Star Camp.  This is his 3rd year attending with his friend Luke.  After camp every day we had play dates planned with friends.

**Allen left yesterday for a long weekend leading a retreat for his teen leaders. 

*in 2 weeks Noah will be attending tennis camp! 

*In addition to all the fun activities, we have been spending lots of time at the pool, dog park, playing video games at home, grilling out, hanging out with friends, and just having fun!!! 

I hope you are having a great summer and enjoying the extra time with your friends and family!!!

It was a Good Knight!

 For the last few years Noah has told me he wanted to be a Knight when he grows up.  Being the supportive mom that I am, I have refused to tell him that it will be difficult to get a job like that these days.  A few weeks before school let out, Noah came home and asked me what a VET was.  He said his teacher asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up and when Noah said "A Knight", his teacher told him he couldn't be that and had to pick a "real" job.  One of his friends wants to be a VET so Noah told me he picked that as well.  Although the teacher is 100% right that Noah can't really be a knight, i was pretty upset that she crushed his dream.  I mean come on, he will learn soon enough that he can't really be a Knight, so why not just let a 1st grader have his dream.  Now, don't get me wrong, i really like his teacher but come one.  I am a dreamer myself, still deciding what I want to be when I grow up, and firmly believe we need to let the kids keep their dreams and imaginations alive!  I am still kind of holding out on the dream that Brad Pitt will show up at my door and ask me to star in a movie with him one day.  Anyway, every year around Noah's birthday, some of my family asks when Noah wants.  The LAST thing this child needs is another toy so I try to pick one event or place and ask family members to donate to that.  Last year we got season passes to lake Lanier Water Park, the year before that a family membership to the zoo.  I think an "adventure" is a much better gift than another toy.  So this year I was wondering what adventure we should do and then, there it was...I was driving down Holcomb Bridge and saw the billboard for Medieval Times!  That was it!!!  I forgot all about that place.  I had been when i was kid and remembered I loved it!  And I didn't want to be a Knight so i imagined that Noah would go crazy over that place.  So I told family about the place and several people gave money so we could take Noah.  I waited for a weekend when tickets would go on sale and when i saw tickets were half off the week of July 4th, I jumped on it.  We had enough money for all of us to go and extra money to shower Noah with overpriced swords and shields in the gift shop!  We didn't tell Noah where we were going but this morning when he woke up, told him we had a special birthday surprise.  We told him all the people who gave money so he could go.  He still had no idea where we were going.  We drove all the way there with him asking questions and us giving some clues.  He was pretty sure we were going to see a movie.    You should have seen the look on his face when we pulled up and he saw the Castle.  He still didn't know what to expect but he knew we were not seeing a movie and that where there are castles, there are Knights!  When we walked in and he saw the arena and we explained what was going to happen, I honestly think he thought he had died and gone to Heaven.  Since the tickets were half off, we upgraded our seats so we were in the front row and got special cheering banners and stuff.  I must admit, the whole thing is pretty darn amazing!!  It really was the best gift!  There is no way Noah's teacher (or anyone for that matter) will ever be able to convince him that Knights aren't still riding into battle to protect Kings and Queens.  And that is fine with me!  Let the kids dream big!!!

Thank you so much to our family and friends that gave Noah an "adventure" he will never forget! 

   

Freedom

Happy 4th of July!!    I can't believe it is July 4th already!!  The 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays...i LOVE everything about it...the cookouts, the patriotism, the sparklers, the pop-its, the fireworks (oh i LOVE the fireworks), but most of all, i LOVE being FREE!   There is something about the star spangled banner that brings tears to my eyes because I know I live in a country that was founded on God with the underlining theme of FREEDOM!  At least i USED to!  It seems, as of late, that our freedom is slowly going away.  "Oh Meghan, quit being so dramatic" you might be saying to yourself, but i assure you, i am not being dramatic.  Freedom of Religion is one of the fundamental rights we have as American citizens and that is being taken away.  It is no surprise that I didn't vote for Obama in the last election and i don't care if you did or didn't.  What i DO care about is that you don't vote for him this time around.  If you haven't heard, Obama is implementing his own healthcare and part of that healthcare is making all insurance companies pay for birth control, abortions, and medical abortions.  Now we can sit here all day and debate that there are tons of people that use birth control and can't afford it.  We can debate that there are people that will always get abortions so we might as well have clinics.  We can debate whether women who have been a victim of rape or incest should be able to abort their child.  We might as well debate the reason lots of Catholics (or any Religion) have people who claim to be a part of that church, that don't practice the teachings of their faith.  But those debates will have to wait for another day, today is not about them.  Today, is about freedom of religion.  The Catholic faith is something very dear to me.  I am Catholic and I am a practicing Catholic.  I practice all the teachings of the Church, believe in the forgiveness of our Everlasting God when i have messed up, and look forward to being with the Resurrected Christ in Heaven one day!  One of the most important issues of my faith is the Pro Life stance.  Being pro life is much more than just being anti-abortion.  It is about standing up for life at all stages..from conception to natural death.  It is my right to believe that and be a part of the Catholic Church who, in her wisdom, understands that birth control and abortions are not just unhealthy for the child but also for the mother.  The Church wants the best life possible for both mother and child...pro life!  So it doesn't matter if you agree with these teachings or not, you can believe what you want..do you know why?  Because under the Constitution of the United States we are free to believe what we want and practice whatever religion (or lack of) we want ..."Freedom of Religion".  So how can the government, who were the first to establish "Freedom of Religion", take that away by making insurance companies pay for things that are morally wrong?  Catholic schools, businesses, colleges, etc who have been able to insure their employees (like me) are now being forced under the HHS Mandate that Obama is implementing.  Many pro life companies of many different Christian religions will refuse to participate in this, therefore, losing insurance for many people.  No matter what your beliefs about birth control, abortion, pro life, pro choice, this is not about that...this is about your beliefs in being an American and being FREE.  Free to believe whatever you want without being told you HAVE to believe this or that.   Just think of all the other things that will be taken away from us if we allow Obama to start here.  Do you like being free?  are you celebrating your freedom today, on the 4th of July?  Then remember that when you are voting in the election this November.  In the meantime, I hope you have a great day filled with with burgers, friends, laughter, and the joy of knowing you are FREE because you are made in the image and likeness of God! 

in the silence

It never fails.  When Allen goes out of town the following things happen:  first, I don't sleep.  second, i get scared in my own house as soon as it gets dark (although less since getting Chewy).  Third:  I get overwhelmed with sadness missing Archbishop Donoghue. It's weird.  Allen works several nights a week so it isn't like i am a stranger to being home alone at night.  There is something different about the time when he goes out of town.  Night time seems to be never ending on the nights i know he isn't coming home.  I can understand the being afraid and not being able to sleep, but i don't know what it is about these nights that make me miss ABD so much more.  It's weird too, to think he has been gone for 7 months now.  7 months!  I often visit his grave site and although it probably isn't proper, I usually bring Chewy.  I like knowing that ABD knew Chewy, even if for only a month.  I feel like there is a weird connection.  I know, it's weird.  I often find myself thinking "a year ago ABD and I were doing this" and as it gets closer into summer, our activities slowed down quite a bit and turned into more doctor visits.  But still, last summer we would sit outside a lot early in the morning before it got hot and had the BEST conversations!!  I miss that terribly!  I dream about him a lot.  He is always so full of life and usually giving me a hard time in my dreams...just as i remember him.  The other night I woke up in a sweat because my dream was that ABD never died and he was secretly living at my moms house and everyone knew he was alive except me.  what can i say?..i miss him!  I pray for him all the time, especially in Mass and wonder what it will be like to see him again one day in Heaven.  I think it is cute that Noah still brings up things that ABD did and I hope Noah remembers him forever.  I also think it is cute that whenever we are in public and run into someone we haven't seen in a while and they ask me how I am doing since ABD died, Noah looks at me with anticipation to see if I am going to tear up or cry.  And i usually do.  He was a huge part of my life and although i am healing slowly, the loss of him is still huge.  Oh, ABD...I miss you!

Happy Anniversary

8 years ago tonight Allen and I got hitched!!  It hasn't always been easy but i can honestly say it has been the best 8 years of my life.  

Michigan

Last weekend Noah and I flew to Michigan with my dad and Diane.  My 96 year old grandmother still lives in the town she was born in, and where my dad and his 2 brothers grew up.  In early April, my uncle Arlo lost his battle with cancer and this past weekend he was buried next to his dad.  Although the trip was for such a sad reason, it really was great to spend time with family.  It was the first time my grand mother had all but one of her grand children and ALL of her great grand children in the same place!   

Noah is such a great traveler..and it didn't hurt that we flew first class.  Since my dad just had hip surgery, he called to upgrade his ticket but since all our tickets were purchased together, all of them had to be upgraded!  There is something to be said about having a few glasses of FREE wine before you even leave the gate.  Okay...maybe not free since you pay for it in the upgrade but go with it...

 We got to Michigan a few hours after Uncle Bubba and Aimee got there from Florida and we met them and my cousin, Elliot at the Corner Bar for some hot dogs...

 Friday morning was the funeral service and it really was beautiful!  Arlo touched so many lives with his huge personality and it was nice to honor him is such a great way!  It was also really great that my Aunt Anne flew in from California!  Anne was married to my dad's oldest brother until he lost his battle with ALS a decade ago.

 While we were in Rockford, we walked around the town and enjoyed the awesome weather! We could not have asked for more perfect weather that weekend!!

 This picture of Asher cracks me up!  Asher is my cousin, Alyssa's, child and it looks like he is doing some amazing trick....

 Noah LOVED playing with his cousins....

 Over the weekend, Rockford held this HUGE Relay for Life event and we all got to go....

 on Saturday, we all decided to head to Lake Michigan to the kite festival...Alyssa, don't get mad when you read this but i have to laugh when i look through pictures of this day because Noah always asks me now, "Mom, was that the day we waited on Alyssa all day?"  haha, Yes, Noah!...this day has been renamed "The day we waited on Alyssa"...but we are glad she finally caught up with us!!!

 the family photo...minus Alyssa....we can just pretend Alyssa took the photo instead of some stranger who ended up sicking my camera down her shirt...don't ask!

 the kids having fun in the sand!

 Bubba and Aimee

 me and my "little" brother...

 my cousin Kelsey and her sweet family!

 love these boys...

 this little Sadie melts my heart, she is so stinkin cute...

 and this boy IS my heart!!!

 my grandmother with all of her great grand kids

 love this woman!

 the kids!

 and this picture will forever be my favorite...this could not capture these 2 any better....

 me with the super sweet Jayne Mac

 On our last day we had lunch right by the water..it was so pretty!!!

 my view...

 my other view.,...

 what a stud!!

 love these people...

 we said goodbye to Bubba and Aimee at the airport and headed back home....first class of course!!

another star in the making

the spring soccer season came to an end!  I am so proud of my soccer star!!!  I am already looking foward to the fall season!

my god daughter

My dear friends, Nick and Sunny, asked me to be the god mother to their 4th child (I know, i don't know what they were thinking either) but i was HONORED when Nick called and asked!!  They didn't know the sex of the baby before SHE entered the world, so it was a surprise when Catherine Marie entered on May 4th!  And as any god child of mine would have it, she came into this world on National Star Wars Day..hehe!!  I snuck over to the hospital to hold my sweet god daughter just hours after she was born!!  I fell in love instantly!!  I am so looking forward to her baptism this week! 

field day

 When i was growing up, field day was the BEST day of the school year!!!  It was filled with competition, fun, goofiness, and OUT OF UNIFORM!!!  Noah's school had field (half) day a few weeks ago and Allen and I helped out.  I helped with Noah's class, shuttling them from station to station and Allen helped at the parachute station.  Field day just isn't what it used to be!  First of all, it is only a half of a day.  They actually expect the students to sit still and learn the 2nd half..um, what???  Second of all, there is no longer any competition to anything anymore...um, what???  What is this nonsense of "everybody wins"? that is CRAP!!!  It is okay to have a winning and losing team!  I hardly doubt my team won every year and guess what...i don't have self confidence problems or feel worthless about myself.  Probably the opposite...I am competitive.. but a healthy amount!  And losing just makes me want to try harder!  the fact that no one was keeping score to each event didn't bother Noah...he still "raced" his opponent as if he were going to win an olympic gold medal.