Archbishop Donoghue

I have tried many times to sit down and write this blog post yet never seem to finish. The right words are hard to find. So I will try again.

Last week my world turned upside down. 11-11-11: a day to never happen again in our lifetime. How fitting! Because the world lost a man that will also never happen again in our lifetime. Will we have more Priests? yes! Will we have more Bishops? Yes! But never again a man and Bishop like Archbishop Donoghue. Many people grieve his loss. Many people will miss him; but everyone else's days seem to go on as they did before he died. Mine, however, does not. He was my day, well, a huge part of my day. And now that part of my day is missing, just like a piece of my heart!

I could go on and on about how awesome ABD was and I'm sure I will in posts to come, but in this post, I want to share about his final day. ABD was in and out of the hospital 3 times from September 5 to the end of October. It was scary. All three times I wondered if he would pull through, and thankfully he did. The 3rd time though was different and we knew he would not recover like he did the first 2 times so my mom opened up her home and moved ABD, along with hospice, into her home. It was during those last 3 weeks that he required the most intensive care. It was also during those last 3 weeks that I was really able to see just how important I was to Archbishop. I knew he was important to me, i mean he is easy to love; but I truly realized just how much I meant to him. I do not say this to gloat or brag but quite the opposite. For it was in those last 3 weeks that I had to do the most serving of this humble, humble man. I think it was because of the last 3 weeks of his life that I will be at peace with his death for the rest of mine. He knew I needed that time. That was soooo him. Thinking of me while he was the one slipping away. And yet, he never missed an opportunity to crack a joke or a sarcastic remark. Have I mentioned I love that man! It was in his last 3 weeks that his body really started to slowly shut down little by little and because of that, he needed help eating. It was during the times I would help him eat that he would say things to me that I will never forget. Simple things. Like when he would grab my hand, kiss it, look me in the eyes, and say "Thank You, Meghan. Thank you for everything." And it really was my pleasure!

The morning of 11-11-11 was different. I got to my mom's house early, like I always did. Archbishop was sleeping. I went in and said hello to ABD and immediately starting crying. He looked different. The hospice nurse told us that he probably only had 2 or 3 days left in this condition but of course she didn't know for sure. I wasn't ready for only 3 days left. I wanted more. More days with him.
It was a quiet day. After a few hours, all 4 of the people who took care of him in the last few years of his life were there: Me, my mom, Claud, and Father Tom. We all took turns sitting with ABD, feeding him, praying with him, and talking to him. The more time i spent with him that day, the more i was hating seeing his body shut down. I felt he was just waiting. Waiting for permission to go. So all 4 of us, went in separately and told ABD we would be okay, it was time for him to go. Again, I really think he was waiting to hear that..he was thinking of us and waiting for US to be okay, because as soon as we "gave him permission", something changed and he was ready to go. The 4 of us were at his bedside, holding his hand, and it was in the singing of the Salve Regina that he took his last breath. Although it was heartbreaking for us, it was very peaceful for him. The whole day was peaceful. I was able to say my goodbye to him before he died, and I was able to say my goodbye to his body before the funeral director came to take him away. I am truly blessed and thankful for that!

I think Archbishop knew what he was doing because he knew how busy I would be the next few weeks; with Thanksgiving, my surgery, and Christmas. He knew I need to stay busy because if I don't, I will have all day to just sit and miss him. So he went when he did. Just because I am busy doesn't make me miss him any less, but it makes it easier to get through the day without breaking down multiple times because I do miss him. Besides, I know I will see him again. Death is not the end, it is the beginning of eternity and I know he is in a better place. And until that day when we meet again, I will be with him at the holy Mass. I am forever grateful for the time i spent with him! 11-11-11. A day never to be forgotten!