The Notebook

From the moment I read the book The Notebook, I knew i would never read a more romantic story in my life. When it became a movie I HAD to see it although I hoped it would reach my expectations since i loved the book so much. it did. It passed them actually. I thought the movie was even more romantic and wonderful than the book and I didn't think that was possible. There was something about this book/movie that made it different than just your average "love story". It's the fact that it shows the sacrament of marriage at its best which makes this story so romantic. The story starts out with an elderly man and an elderly woman in an assisted living home. The woman suffers from Alzheimer's although i have personally realized it was probably the husband who suffered more. And his memory was intact. He sat with her every day reading her the story of their life even when she couldn't remember who he was. THAT IS LOVE! That is what marriage is all about! In sickness and health, til death do us part. He was actually living it.

So let me pause a minute. Let me fill you in on what I have been doing these days. I have been taking care of an elderly gentlemen who was in a very prestigious position most of his life. He is retired now. He is also an old family friend. He has spent most holidays with my family growing up, even traveling to St Louis when we celebrated holidays there. The past couple of years have been hard on him. Dementia has set in and some days he gets very confused while other days he knows exactly what is going on. He recently moved into the memory loss section of the Assisted living facility. There are probably 10-12 other people who live in that area. First of all, I never knew how much i would enjoy taking care of the elderly. Seriously. I surprised myself. My day is usually very routine. Routine is good for those with Dementia because it helps them remember what is coming next, much like a child. I am so lucky that my days consists of attending the daily rosary in the chapel, Mass, and then we head out to lunch to a nearby restaurant. After lunch we go back to his room and usually he takes a nap while I wonder out to the main area where the other people who live in the Memory Loss area gather. This part could be one of my favorite times of day.

With the exception of one other gentleman, all the residents in this area are women. One of the ladies, Ann, always sits with me at Mass. She holds my hand and always lights up when she sees me. I love that she recognizes me when i see her. Mrs Dawson is a character. She has quite the attitude and her mind is set back in time when her husband was alive. She is convinced he is still alive and that at any minute he will be walking through the door. He has been dead for many years. Betsy was a music teacher and her mind mixes up nouns with musical sounds. no kidding. A sentence usually sounds like this: "Meghan, are you going to the ching ching cha boom today? We will be late for the bing ba ting". You just go with it. Answer her as if you totally understand what she is saying. All with a smile of course. Janice breaks my heart. I don't know what happened in her past life but Janice has a VERY nasty angry disposition. When something happens that she doesn't like she starts trying to hit whoever is around her. She hit me across the face the other day and let me say for a lady who walks with a walker, she has a hard right cross. not kidding. I didn't know it would hurt or i would have blocked it. There is Queen Elizabeth. We (the nurses and I) call her that because her name is Elizabeth and she was married to George. Therefore, she is Queen Elizabeth. That and she is the sweetest lady ever. She doesn't say much and she requires 24 hour care to help her with simple things such as eating and getting dressed. Then there is Jeanie. Jeanie is married to Jean. They have been married 58 years and still going strong. Jean doesn't live in the memory care area, he lives in the Independent Living area attached to the Assisted Living which is attached to the memory loss area. But Jeannie lives in the memory care area. Are you following me?? So Jean and Jeanie are my Notebook couple. Seriously. Jean comes every day to be with his wife. She doesn't always know who he is but she lights up like a firecracker when he enters her view! It is the most amazing thing ever!! Jean comes and gets his bride every day and they go on walks around the building and hit golf balls on the front lawn when the weather is nice. They go to Mass together everyday and eat meals together. He introduces her to everyone walking in the halls and tells them that he is the luckiest guy in the world to be married to her for 58 years. It really is beautiful. It is why I love that movie so much only this is better cause it is REAL!!! It is TRUE LOVE. Love that every person desires in their heart. A Love that really lasts in sickness and health, in good times, and bad. Jean made a decision to love and he does. Every day! Even when he doesn't get love in return. He still loves. THAT is what marriage is all about.

I am so blessed to be able to be surrounded by all these people every day. I didn't know I could love these people so much. I was asked to help out taking care of one gentleman and have the privilege of taking care of many people. Although I promise you I leave that facility everyday learning something about myself. These elderly people who have literally lost their minds teach me more about love and life every day than i could ever learn from anywhere else. Jean has taught me more about truly living my vocation as a wife (and mother) than anyone else. Everyday when I leave the facility, I am reminded how short life is and that I am in this journey with my amazing husband and child. I hope and pray that one day when I am old and grey and someone has to take care of me that I can bring half as much joy as these people bring to me.

Happy New Year!